This email was written to my dad, who is an open-minded Christian and general truth-seeker who nonetheless loves attending a Fundamentalist Baptist church. An interesting set of contradictions. Here’s the text:

Hey, Dad!

You are totally right! That picture I texted you was email material.

I had a few more thoughts about God and Self, and about concept and surrender and iconoclasm. 

What Rasmussen’s class taught me, which was critical, was that God exists beyond concept, or conceptual grasp. In Patristic Era Christianity (pre-schism), this was known as ‘agnosia’ or possessing an ‘agnostic’ relationship with God, one of first-hand contact, as supposed to ‘gnostic’ or knowledge/concept-based  view of God.

An agnostic relationship with the Divine meant that your grasp of it was beyond knowledge. It was actual. Agnosia was the goal of the gnostics, and really everyone. That’s why ‘gnostic’ is pejorative: it means you haven’t gotten there yet. All you have is head-knowledge. The Hindus call this ‘gñana’ *(as supposed to agñana which refers to the mystical concepts), reversing the terms to indicate that the ‘beyond-knowledge’ state represents the truest form of knowledge. 

Iconoclastic movements have appeared in every culture from ancient Egypt to the Islam, to the Existentialist movement. When I learned this stuff in class, I was already (unknowingly) exploring Existentialism, and so immediately recognized that calling God by any name was inherently false. What I realized is that the Nihilists, subsequently the Existentialists, had gotten things right in saying “God is dead” and saying that “God does not exist.” 

Where a Bhuddist would come in, would be to critique the West for getting their *concepts* mixed up with their *reality*. He would say “Hey! You are right. Your concept of God is indeed false, because God is beyond  conceptual grasp. But, that does not mean that God is not real.” The Buddhist journey is one of annihilating concepts until you reach sunyata: the Void. This is not a literal void, but a conceptual void, wherein not only does God not exist, but neither do you. It is actually a trippy place to get to, and what it leads to is an implicit and total surrender of the conceptual self, the Ego, to the Higher Intelligence which experience tells us does indeed exist and creates the Universe, but is beyond anybody’s ability to define. It also leads to Union (Sanskrit: ‘Yoga’) for if neither you nor God exist, then there is truly no separation between you and God. 

“I and my Father are One.”

When the conceptual self is out of the way, the mind opens like an aperture through which God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, Source Energy, the Divine, Allah, or Intelligent Infinity can pour, manifesting itself as you and your life. “Every day, I (grk.: ego), Paul, decrease, that Christ (grk.: anointing) may increase.”** 

**(Quieting the mind through meditation -a few minutes every day- is helpful in this process.)

In this way, we are actually using concepts and beliefs to articulate the mechanics of the mind to bring into focus the Divine that wants to pour through us and into our lives and those around us; by working directly on the mechanics of the mind, belief becomes a tool, rather than a ground of truth. This use of belief is mystical or gnostic practice at its essence. 

What’s a trip is that the highest pinnacle of mysticism can be understood and reached by the humblest peasant. To reach it is to go totally beyond belief, to stand completely out of the way so that the Divine can move through the life of the individual without inhibition (properly understood—this is already happening. Our fake concept of ourself gets in the way or claims credit). In fact, humble peasants almost always have an easier time with this than educated Magi. In this way, the pinnacle of mysticism is more accessible than water, but tends to be squarely avoided by the wealthy, the powerful, and the highly educated.

What Hindus comprehend when they call their baba ‘Maharaj-ji’ or ‘Great King’, is that someone who lives in Reality is Real, Regal, or Royal,  (Sanskrit: Raj, Spanish: Rey) while Form, or formality, is not. This is where quotes from Indian teachers like: “live in reality, don’t bother with form” or “detach from form” sound a lot like “renounce the world.”*** What they mean is, when someone says “Well, the formal agreement is xxx, but, in reality, what’s gonna happen is: xxx” — just go with the part that’s “in reality”!! 

Don’t bother with the rest! Acknowledge that others are adhering to formality, acting from it, because they are attached to it, they think it’s real, then act accordingly. Make your own rules, and don’t be an asshole. So many saints’ teachings basically boil down to “get off it, bro” (legally, personally, and mystically). “Live in Reality. Here, have a fish. Chill for a bit.”

***(Renouncing the “world of form” in Christianity and Hinduism, we can see, isn’t about self-restraint at all! Not even a little bit! The whole monastery torture-yourself, live-in-isolation-and-eat-boring-food thing comes about when you are trying to renounce the world of form—formally. You have not entered the Real world and thus failed right out the gate. The answer: be in the real world, which you can do right now. No years of asceticism or aires of formal holiness required.)

What they are saying is life happens in Reality. The King lives in Reality, while all the courtiers and subjects are bound to formality (by misinformed consent). Live in Reality, aware of form, but not subject to it. Dance around form. Politics are supposed to happen in Reality, then formal law is established from a few people just talking freely about stuff to each other. Where things get mixed up is when politics are formal: then who is actually living in reality??? Or—who’s actually thinking straight? Likely the baba, roasting a fish on the river bank. He’s in Reality. He is Royal. He is a King (from old English: Cyning or Kinning, (from: ‘kin’ (as in kindred))  meaning: ‘of the people’ or ‘son of the people’).

Thus: a true King is either leading a spiritual following wherein the goal is to “get off it” and ultimately realize their own Kinghood, thus working to establish a Kingdom of Truth, or has no followers or subjects at all. A ruling King is just a manipulator.

Interestingly then, while the Constitution is a great advance in once sense, it is also a funny innovation. It means that nobody is living in Reality. No one is Royal, therefore everybody is formal. The egalitarianism is laudable, but the fact of the matter turns out to be stunningly naive and a little scary. It’s really not hard to see, looking at our politics, and our economy, how this is the case…A magic spell holding an entire nation of people in a state of fiction. Absolute trip.

**(We can see today, that we are in a culture that is entirely obsessed with a concept: money! The use of trading tokens is perfectly fine. The flow of energy and resources -economics- is a valid field of understanding. But money is based in concept. It is only one area of life, and none of the finest or subtlest parts of life can be obtained with it except by proxy. The entire corpus of how to have a good life in practical terms handed to me and my generation essentially boils down to: be financially stable. If nothing else, we are due for a re-opening of the imagination. Basically, “If you can do something inspiring for money, great, do it. But the wise are like Warren Buffet: never do anything to compromise the hot and narrow pursuit of wealth.”… So many of my peers are essentially coded this way.)

This is why Jesus was referred to as Christ, or anointed (as a King) or Royal, or Real, and why he ran around at one point flipping over desks because he was pissed at how formal/fictional everyone was behaving. Like- “GUYS, come into Reality! Get Real!! Start behaving like the Cynings you are!! Aware of your place in your community! In nature! Etc. You are already sovereign beings, but you are misusing that sovereignty because you are stuck in an illusion, the illusion of form, of formality, of formal worship of a conceptual idea.** But formality, when it boils down: bullshit.”

In this way the cool-sounding “stream of Divine energy” that sounds so sci-fi and mystical is really just your own true, no nonsense, Self. That stream of Source energy is already pouring through you, it’s what’s keeping you alive right now. Another suitable term could be the Breath of Life, or chi, or in Yoga: prāna (this is why Yoga focuses on breath so much: that’s literally God’s breath). What this basically means is that wether you’re a farmer, a prisoner, a President, a magician, a healer, or an artist at heart, your base, uneducated, realness is what that life-force presents as. Allowing reality to be you, living in truth, means finding, and then trusting yourself and not lying or manipulating, not spouting off about your university education or your position in society… 

Getting to uninhibited authenticity does entail a process of unlearning everything formal you learned in college, in school; even what you learned about your formal self: how one ought to behave and think, what politeness is, civility, honor, etc. and re-learning it as secondary to the true expression of your authentic being. This process can be painful, confusing, and at times wildly uncomfortable, especially when what you are unlearning was based on a good thing (like politeness, gotta actually unlearn that one because Truth is rarely polite). It’s what death on the cross represents. 

Through this process we can begin to understand that God is, really: our inmost self. God lives in our hearts because ultimately, God is our true expression. The Hindu scriptures call the particular droplet of God that lives in your heart ‘Atma’ (Adama, or Adam); “Atma Namaste” translates to: “The God in my heart salutes the God in your heart.” You are not scum, you are not chattel, you are neither subject nor citizen. Your true, authentic expression, your very life-force is God and King. The more you allow your authentic Self, your life-force, to express, the more you allow God into your life, into you. 

This is why I am manifesting a community where Christ Consciousness or Christ Awareness reigns. Where everyone is aware that they are an incarnation of the Christ. Where I never have to go to church because no matter who I’m with, even if it’s just myself, I am in the presence of Christ. Where it is understood that if I feed my fellow, truly, I have fed the Christ because the Christ is alive in all of us. We are walking around inside the imagination of God, so no matter who or what we touch, we are touching God. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

We can all be together as Kings without thrones.

If God’s breath is my breath, then who does that make me in truth? If God’s breath is your breath, then who does that make you in truth?

Let us breathe together. Let us find our Truth, and perhaps we will find that it is the same within all of us.

We guard our deepest truth, we hide our deepest self, thinking that no one will understand. But little do we know that that is where we all find out we’re the same. If you open up wide enough to one another, you find bedrock together that is more secure than any fictional, formal system could ever provide. You just have to take the plunge. And you have to take it with ‘other’ people. That’s how the Kingdom is built.

Anyways. I rarely talk about this stuff with anyone else, so it’s fun to talk about it with you. You’re my only outlet, haha. And I know you are a Truth seeker, so I wanna give you my insights.

As a well-known Aghori once said: “If you fail to live with Reality, Reality will inevitably come to live with you.”

In this spirit, I invite you to surrender to nothing. Surrender to the higher power that is so all-pervadingly all-powerful that it needs no name, no formal act of worship, is closer than your skin, the very One who has coded It’s law into the fibers of your muscle and who’s breath is your breath, who created the tiger, the river, and the storm. Breathe in, breathe out, no more concepts, just Being. Welcome to Reality.

There are others who comprehend this, who comprehend their place in the cosmos. Find them. 

They live wild lives. They do not obey the rules others obey, though they comprehend them. They live from their hearts and speak without reservation or inhibition. Truth proceeds from their mouth and only Truth enters their mind. 

They are children of the most High, sons and daughters of the Infinite One. They know who they are. They need no one, but are connected to everything in the Universe. It is rare to find one, living in truth. Though, they may just appear anywhere…as your taxi driver, or a stranger, or a traveling exchange student, or a child, or your neighbor doing her dishes, living in Reality. Be open. Your brothers and sisters will find you. 

I realize that this email is just output from my own truth-finding process. Maybe you’ll find it interesting, maybe it’s a bunch of crazy-blabber. I debate wether to send it. I think I’m gonna send it. Love is Infinity. -Son