What follows is my (almost) entirely unedited, unfiltered thoughts written down while I was in a café in Uttarakhand. Enjoy…

I suppose integrating my time in India will take some time, and this writing will definitely be a part of it.

As I allow the full weight of this journey to sink in, I can sense its profundity. I can feel all the changes, some minor, some major, that have been made within me at an energetic, personal level. There is a heartiness there within me that wasn’t there before, and I am grateful for it. Being a spiritual land with many mystical experiences to offer—and much of the experience I have had here has been mystical—there is a new groundedness in me.

Simultaneously grounding and elevating: this is the power of Indian culture and the realities one faces when traveling here. For every trial or hardship, there is a saving grace of equal, if not more powerful measure. It’s called grace, and it flows not through the societal systems or material prosperity of the place, but through the human beings.

It is truly incredible. And this grace is most readily available to one who has taken at least the first steps at uniting his conscious and unconscious mind because boy are these people in-tune with what you really want. If you say one thing but deep-down, you really want another, some kind of chaos usually ensues. Nowhere else have I been looked at like I was crazy—not for what I said, but for what I didn’t say, like India.

On the other hand, in the marketplace, this is used and exploited without remorse or hesitation by those who perceive a rich white foreigner (which is a common stereotype) off of whom they can make a quick buck. So it’s an incredible school to learn about yourself. How you carry your energy determines how you are interacted with by the people at large. In fact, it could be said that, more than anywhere else I’ve ever been, the Indian people clearly mirror whatever you have going on inside (with a healthy serving of self-interest, depending on the crowd).

There is very little social anxiety among Indians (to my observing eyes), or at least much less than there is in the west. So it makes for an environment where getting approached is not uncommon for any reason. In fact, approaching westerners seems much more daunting in general, probably because our underlying energy says “earn my attention, don’t assume you can have it.” Absolutely nowhere has that been steamrollered with more impunity than this country.

You see, there has to be a deep and real, genuine subconscious feeling of not needing or wanting to interact. It requires an honesty with oneself, and any hole or gap, coping mechanism or trauma or fear-based pattern can and will be exploited, sometimes to the effect of several hundred (or thousand) Rupees. Though these are relatively small quantities of U.S. Dollars, they are entire meals, nights of stay at hostels, and multiple bus tickets between distant locations here in India. And, the feeling is the same: you got ripped off.

Isn’t that interesting? Getting ripped off for 100 Rupees (which at time of writing is just over a dollar, not enough to buy a cup of tea) feels like getting ripped off for a significant number of U.S. Dollars, perhaps $15 or $20. Most people don’t get “ripped off” for that kind of amount in the States, so it’s an unfamiliar feeling but believe me, you feel it. It’s such a teaching on so many levels. I’ve had the experience multiple times of coming out of a profound meditation onto a busy street and being immediately hit up to buy anything from food to a taxi. It’s quite shocking and abrasive, but also centering in that you can’t just drift off into bliss. See, this is really good so you don’t float off into some kind of imagination-bubble like American meditators and spiritual seekers often do. Real spirituality is relatively new in America, but these Indians have ‘seen it all’ over the years. Elevating and Grounding.

On the other hand, some of the most open and kindhearted interactions I have ever seen have taken place here, especially around business. Co-workers treating each other like family. If someone is tired, late, or otherwise unable to unwilling to complete a task—I have seen people shoulder the burdens of others without blinking an eye in contexts which would cause much disgruntlement and chaos here in the West.

There is a Sanskrit word: ‘seva’ which translates roughly to ‘service’ and is very core to Hindu culture. It is closely related to the concept of ‘karma yoga’, the yoga of action, which is essentially a way of using mundane activity in the world, like running a business, as the substance of spiritual practice. This is principally accomplished by relinquishing the fruits of ones’ actions, perhaps by dedicating them to God, or simply by removing oneself from the equation in terms of rewards reaped. This goes deep and can be applied to all areas of life—even other forms of spiritual practice or worship. If we sing praise, or pray, or perform ritual to God in order to get something from God, then is it really worship?

The same could be asked of all of our relations. Are we in the friendship because we really like or love the being with whom we are relating? Or do we secretly hope to get something from them? Transactions are fine, but they are so much sweeter when the underlying motivation, the deep-seated need to reap a reward from them, is abandoned. There will always be some degree of sharing, even if it is only time and information, between beings. But how can this relationship and the sharing that naturally happens come out of play, instead of need?

Needs may arise, but how can one be needy who comprehends themselves to be one with the Infinite Source of all creation? And at the same time, we do have needs! We have them all the time and so to ask someone to relate with you without having any needs from you is like asking a horse to take you from one town to another without expecting to be fed. Here in India, more than anywhere else I have ever experienced, needs get filled in one way or another with an immediacy that is surprising. And this isn’t out of nowhere: it comes from people’s willingness to help each other.