Hahahahahaha

How am I supposed to move through it all when my own internal state is unknowable to me? HAHAHHAAHHAHA 

What a ridiculous assumption! That I am supposed to somehow be in charge of my life really. Hahahahhahaah

I know NOTHINg! Well I actually know a whole lot of things and that is the ISSUE! I KNOW TOO MUCH TO MANAGE MY LIFE.

There are just too many factors to “take into account” hahahah. I just have to let go and let it all flow ja know? Hahaha… wow I give up. The best three words ever uttered. 

Seriously!! And some of the factors are completely unreasonable. Unresolved and unresolvable through logic… even the most far out and esoteric logic I can possibly apply gets me nowhere. Eat me demon.

Just eat me. Then I’ll be free, happy. Why don’t I just let that happen? Why not? I should be crawling into your mouth with glee. Please! Make it quick! One swift crrruuunnchhh! 

Yum *lick*. Blurrrpp, delicious. I am the demon. I gotta eat. Why not?

Please, relieve this body of itself. Thank you, me. Have you ever looked into the eyes of a cow? You’d never eat one again. Much more profound than the gaze of a dog or cat, yet we slaughter them by the thousands daily. *crunnnchhhh* *burrrp* *lick* …yum. A burger. Is that all I am to you?

Anyway. This is my favorite blog post I’ve written in a while and I think I’m going to keep it up like this. This is a solid genre. 

Zen comedy…? I’m not sure: is that what my life is? Most definitely! Hahaha. And if I’m not laughing, then who is?

Of course it has moments of tragedy, triumph, exultation and debasement. Dominance and degradation. Why don’t I just do what I want?

If I don’t embody those as fully as I know how, then what am I doing? A shitty acting job, that’s what. Who hired this guy? No seriously who hired me?

In letting go I become the captain. 

Why do I try to cling to something that might end at any moment? Who does that? 

As soon as I cease taking things so seriously, my entire mind becomes bright as the sun, shining like a diamond. Medicine radiates from my palms, and my heart shines like crystal radiance of the mountain. What is it doing? Being a mountain. What else?

Just be the mountain l guess. Hiya, I’m a pile of rock. Hahahahahaha little do they know, muahahahaha

And yet, there are levels deeper, which I have never dreamt of. Layers of myself I have not yet touched. Ways of being I cannot even fathom or imagine.

I am but a humble student.

Eat me, oh God. Into your eternal jaws I commit my life, my soul, my entire being. Please, and thank you.